Happy Memorial Day!

What a beautiful morning!  Hans took Cody and I down to the Norwood Memorial, and we had an al fresco Dunkin Donuts breakfast on the lawn while waiting for the parade to come by.  Now we're just hanging out around the house (I'm going to head out to finish lawn work and some gardening), and I'll grill some marinated chicken and pork chops this afternoon.  Josh is heading out to a BBQ with his friend Shannon, and I'm just grateful to have my family safely here and able to enjoy this day.  Please pray for all our veterans, the active and deployed military, and especially their families (particularly those who live in Oklahoma).  And remember them more often than holidays.  I'm probably 'preaching to the choir' on this one, but I just wanted to say it out loud.  As a nation, we don't give enough due to our soldiers, airmen, marines and sailors.  But tomorrow is another day, and we can start each morning hoping for our best in everything.

Happy Memorial Day - we love you all...

At the hospital

Cody had his surgery yesterday for the kidneystones.  It went really well, thanks to our AWESOME Doctor Volfson, and of course God (thank You)!  He was home by about 1:00 in the afternoon, and has a stent in place, but he says he hardly feels that, and it's nothing compared to the other suffering he was experiencing.  He stayed home from work today; we'll see if he's ready tomorrow.  The doctor was able to laser everything - even the stone in his kidney, so he really should be all clear.


The kids are doing all right.  Josh had his first unofficial Martial Arts Club meeting yesterday, and is very excited.  He's also getting registered for Summer I and Fall classes, so he's staying on top of his academics as well.  Bethany had her first LAX game, and played goalie the second half.  She was GREAT!  She stopped about 65% of all the shots, and the other team really knew how to pass the ball. Hans is hanging in there; he has his Student Council meetings Tuesdays before school, and we are going to Chess Club locally most Monday nights.  Most of the men are older...  but Hans hangs in there and enjoys it.  (He's become sort of a favorite around there - they like seeing someone so young learning Chess, and he gets a little spoiled since they bring treats!)  Here's some video and pics.

Love to all...  (And thanks for the prayers!!!)

I can't believe I'm saying this...

...but I am SOOO excited about Pope Francis!  I have NEVER been excited about a Pope.  But Cody and I were just talking about his background, and for the first time since leaving NC, I feel hopeful for the Catholic Church.  Maybe we can be more than what we've become - maybe we can finally have a faith with the people, instead of holding our faith over the people.  I'll be praying for him.  Perhaps Pope Francis is God's way of leading us to a better, more understanding, compassionate church.  One where we finally stop worrying about other peoples 'sins' and shortcomings, and instead embrace one another in love.  A church where we lift each other up to be the best that God wants us to be, instead of labeling our shortcomings.  After all, there's only been one Man who stood sinless and perfect among us.  And it isn't any of us!

LOVE to all...

Chicago

So, as far as travel, this was the worst experience ever.  We had hours of delays, bad weather, bad turbulence, and even a cancelled flight.  We finally got back home Tuesday, the 26th, and Hans was under the weather.  It was a stressful weekend, and I think the lack of sleep and motion sickness got to him as well.  (He got sick Tuesday evening, but that was it - I kept him home on Wed. to make sure, though).  Monday I took him to the Dr's, and overall he was fine (low grade fever), but I've been getting him to bed earlier and just getting back up to speed.  He's doing much better now!

Bethany was great - they were both troopers, and Monday night she got to have a suite at the hotel all to herself!  She LOVED it...  It was an overwhelming experience in general, but we got there and back safely, and I was grateful that I was there for Hans at the prayer gathering (at the wake), since he broke down during that (a little).

Overall, for me, this was an awful experience, one I will not ever repeat.  Cody was kind enough to let me buy last minute plane tickets for 3, hotel for the weekend, and a rental car, just so Bethany and Hans could be with their grandmother, dad, and family - to give and receive support during this time.  I wasn't told until AFTER we arrived, that - on his death bed - their grandpa still harbored such hate, venom, and a lack of forgiveness for me, that I wasn't even allowed to take the kids up to the door.  Tante Bridgette and Debbie were the only 2 people to acknowledge me on their own, and after the prayers at the wake I was told to leave.  (I made sure Hans and Bethany were okay, but since they were, I left quietly).  The kids' family - NO ONE - even looked at me at the funeral, and their grandmother didn't even acknowledge my presence.  NOT ONCE.  Not even to thank me for bringing her grandchildren to see her.

So, I've heard a few worse stories about families since then (and so I have other people to pray for who have it worse than me), but I am   D O N E.   Cody and I have paid for tickets for the kids in the past (because it was important that they see their other family), we've give the Schumachers financial support - LOTS - in the past (even when their own children wouldn't give them money), a fact they hid from 'grandpa' because he would be SO angry to know we gave them money...     And I'm just finished.  Having to listen to them talk about this kind, loving, forgiving man at the funeral:  who were they talking about?  Because the deceased man that had all these people coming to say goodbye had such a deep, poisonous hatred, that over TEN YEARS LATER people who had no business judging me were gossiping and hating me at a funeral!    Instead of supporting each other, the hate he left behind filled the rooms.  Ugh.  What sad hearts they must have; filling them with hatred for someone (me) they hardly know, who did nothing to them.  Seriously - John and I were married; no one else.  And Cody is perhaps the only person who really knows how bad that marriage was.  My marriage to John ended the day I brought Bethany home from the hospital, and a grown man - now a father - had left our home in such horrid disarray, I thought we'd been burglarized.  After months in a hospital, an emergency C-section, Bethany in NICU for a week, to come home to a house like that...  Anything left in me had broken then.  And 6 months of severe Post-partem depression after and one suicide attempt, and NO help from him?  He nailed the casket shut on our marriage.  So there's some insight into that.  I should have ended us some other way, but at that point I was struggling to hang on to my sanity, and care for everyone by myself.  Including John, who - if you remember - had broken his leg on a jump.  So I was caring for EVERYONE, and working 13 hours, plus weekends, and our asshole commander and first sgt. were NOT helping like they promised, they were making my life harder.  And no one helped me get through that.

Folks, I'm a sinner.  Have done some awful things in my life, and to others lives.  I have never said otherwise.  And I know my ex-father-in-law hated me, and that was fine.  It was a narrow-minded approach to things he didn't understand, but I didn't care.  But to see that infect others?  <shaking head>  That is so sad.  All the horrible things I've done in my life, all the horrible things done to me, all those experiences...  they have made me who I am today.  And I try - everyday - to be a better person.  To try my best not to judge.  To struggle to be understanding and caring of others needs.  To teach my children to WAIT, WAIT, WAIT for the right person.  I am a poster child for "don't get married too soon", and if that means that my experiences will keep my children from making some of my crappy mistakes, then it was worth it.  And if they make some of the same mistakes?  I'll be here to help pick them up.  Because that's how I choose to be - the one who learns from her mistakes, tries her damnedest not to repeat them, and to make life a little better for the next person.

So the good news?  I'm working on forgiving them (my anger is tripping me up a little, but just a little - I'm almost over it), and getting my loving family back on track to improve the rest of the year.  It's been a rough year thus far, but we'll get better!  And just in time for the snow storm!

Love to all...    Seriously.  I'm sending lots of love out to everyone.

(how about some cute pics of the kids?)

The cute kangaroo outside of the Outback
at the Cincinnati airport.  She's sharing her

lollipop!

  

On the monorail after our cancelled flight.  Hans was being
a Pokemon or something...  But always cute!

    

  

Love and other heartaches...

Bethany, Hans and I are off to Chicago tomorrow for Opa's funeral. He passed away Wednesday morning, after a lengthy duration of dialysis and a life of living with diabetes. I only mention this because now – for those of us who know he's in heaven – he will have an eternal life free of pain, with his mother and brother, and all his other family. It's still sad; I told Bethany and Hans that losing a loved one is – possibly – the most difficult thing to do in life. For most of us, we're never ready to say goodbye; even when it means a better life for that person. It's the selfish side of love; well, there are many selfish sides to love, but this one is bittersweet, and comes from a caring part of our hearts.

On the brighter side, we are extremely grateful Obachan is recovering nicely, and that God was watching over her when she needed help (and Richard and Michelle, too – what an amazing daughter!). This year has started off rather rough; people in the hospital, hospice, passing away – sickness and death. But for all those hard things we've had to deal with, so many have been miraculous blessings. My sister had a cancer scare that turned out to be a poorly read mammogram; thank you, God! Josh got terribly sick a couple weeks ago, gave it to Cody and I, but Bethany and Hans were spared – AMEN! Whoohoo!!! Obachan got the medical help she needed right away, and is recovering... how wonderful!

I apologize if this sounds a little 'preachy' (the AMEN; too much??), but it's important to remember all the things we have to be grateful for, and every one of you reading this is someone I'm grateful to have in my life. So I'll be thinking of you, sending a little prayer of love out to you, and smiling inside as I pack a black outfit to say goodbye. Because love never really leaves – it just changes location.

Comments are working!

"Wile E. Coyote - SUPER genius!"

So, it was actually pretty simple - which makes me feel a little dumb - but the comments seem to be working now.  Yay!

For all those reading this (and I know that's a small number), please keep a couple of people in your thoughts and prayers...

+  Josh's Obachan, who suffered a ruptured aneurism last week (but is strong and stubborn, and seems to be doing REALLY well)....

+  And Katie, my sister.  She's getting a second follow-up after something unusual showed up on her mammogram.  I'm sure God is watching out for her, and it's probably something minor, but praying for all those things can only help!

Thanks so much for all the love you constantly send our way, and for all the good things you do.  My love and gratitude to you all...